Darwin Got it Wrong (About NEDs)

So Darwin's theory of evolution is that we all evolved from apes, seems legit. He has his facts to back it up and it's widely accepted but he forgot something! What about these bois.....

Scangers playing the "floor is lava" game.

Scangers, Scumbags, NEDs, Chavs, Cumstains, Knackers whatever term you brand them with yourself it really dosent matter. Today ladies and Gentlemen I put forward the idea that they evolved not from Apes but from Badgers. You see the modern day chimpanzee can recognise itself in a mirror, can be thought some sign language and can even use it's brain to solve problems!

Scangers however can't, well this one mastered sign language, Well done!!

OOft what a hottie

So I put forward a new theory based on absolutely no facts. 

Its called the Badger Theory of Evolution

It is the theory that Scangers are evolved from the Badger, now before you go off saying this theory is nonsense, here are just a few extracts from the badger's page on Wikipedia;

Badgers have rather short, fat bodies, with short legs built for digging. Their ears are small, and they have elongated weasel-like heads, (sounds about right) their tails vary in length depending on species, the stink badger has a very short tail.
Their bodies are gray with a light-colored stripe from their head to their tail, (They do love wearing stripes) they have dark legs with light colored stomachs.
The Badger can often be spotted in the wild sporting a Burberry cap (OK I made this one up).
Some are solitary, moving from home to home, while others are known to form clans. Clan size is variable from two to 15. Badgers can be fierce animals and will protect themselves and their young (Buckfast) at all costs.
Badgers can run or gallop at 25–30 km/h (in a Corsa more then likely) for short periods of time. Badgers are nocturnal (true).
The diet of the Eurasian badger consists largely of earthworms, insects, and grubs. (kebabs, cider and fags) They will climb trees to gain access to honey from bees' nests.(They will break into your house).
Badgers spread harmful diseases like TB aswell similar to the spread of Chlymidia by scangers and also hitting a badger with your car will mean the loss of a good front bumper.

So this is the theory I put forward, at some time in history somewhere (more then likely Manchester or London) some badass badgers copied the apes and began walking on two legs aswell but also wearing tracksuits and claiming social welfare. They evolved into the Becky's, Stacey's and Decky's we know today. Feel free to share your views on the Badger Theory of Evolution