You Can't Deny History

After living in Glasgow for two years I have to wonder are they thought history over there? Every night in any given pub in Glasgow if my accent gets heard then I'm likely to get a lecture on politics from some retired council worker who can speak 5 words of Gaelic but claims to be fluent or some Celtic supporter who puts a drop of lemonade in his larger. Its always the same.


A)"Your like our Celtic Neighbors sure I'm half Irish"

or

B)"Them Basterding English, What they done to Northern Ireland"


Ok lets go with statement A first

"Our Celtic Neighbors sure I'm half Irish"

usually this is followed by "where are you from?"

"Kilkenny"

"Is that North or South?"

Ok well if you have never heard of Ireland's fifth largest city well then sir YOU ARE NOT IRISH


And the Celtic neighbors? Thats a good one. There is no proof that the Celts ever settled in Ireland and why would they come all the way from Central Europe to settle on this Bog? Celtic Ireland was basically just a romantic idea coined in the 20th century for tourism.


Statement B) "Them Basterding English, What they done to Northern Ireland"

While England has a lot to apologies for, this is hilarious. You see when Northern Ireland was planted back in the 17 century there was no Ryanair so do you think that the English went out of their way to sail thousands up North to the most rebellious and barbaric part of Ireland? Use your common sense of geography here guys.....

The Ulster Protestants/Presbyterians/Orange Order/Unionists are from Scotland not England! Thats why they call themselves Ulster Scots for crying out loud. So next time your dancing around with your watered down larger signing "Fuck the UDA" it might occur that if you are a Scottish Protestant or Presbyterian that they are your Scottish cousins and you can take them back whenever you want.