When Insect Pigs Fly

Whilst walking home from work today with a can of Tuborg I was being followed by a hungry bumble bee intrigued by the scent.
Not in the mood to entertain my guest I tried to swat it away but it ducked and dived with skill to avoid my blows.
Bumble bees can only live about 4 weeks at the most yet they master flight so efficiently, it made me wonder. How long does it take us to walk? It took us until the 20th Century to fly but somehow the least aerodynamic and ridiculously fat insect has been flying for millions. Scientists have calculated that the bumble bee shouldn't be capable of flight but yet in its own ignorance it beats its wings 3000 times a minute turning them around at the end of each stroke to get from flower to flower continuing the task set for them by nature.
We might think we are clever but nature is far more wise.

A Corsa's Epitaph

When Lord Dooku knelt at Anakin Skywalkers feet beacuse his lighsabher was lost. Do you think Anakin was wrong to chop his head off?
Dooku was unarmed but he was still a villain and represented the Dark Side of the force.
In a similar fashion am I a murderer for driving an Opel Corsa to its death, knowing the head gasket was gone and the oil flooded with coolant?
The 1.0 Corsa B still had another months test but its a Corsa, the kind of car an aspiring football hooligan might drive.
So no by my logic I did us all a favour by sending her to the scrapyard. Cost me 130 Euro but I made that back off the scrap and alloys and what have I learnt from the experience?

• If its worth its own weight in scrap metal then buy it but don't spend a penny on it.
• Don't buy from a Polish Cowboy (The Sump plug was stuck on with silicone, who does that?)
• 3 cylinders is like a bike with only one pedal, you aren't getting up hills fast!
• Never buy Opel/Vauxhall again (Crap cars and a nightmare to work on)

 Now it can be melted down and upgraded in life to a metal wheel-barrow or something.

Mrs. Annie Jerkins the Scam Artist

Came across a con-artist whilst searching for a flat in Glasgow. Her emails were far too professional and just look at the passport! Faker then Pamela Anderson's tits.
Watch out for annjerkins@hotmail.co.uk. She has been emailing me for a deposit up front before viewing the flat. I told her to give me fellatio, no reply as of yet.